I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I stole a fireplace last night.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
