I love black thongs
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize