For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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