Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Someone shattered a urinal.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
