I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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