tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Randomize
