North Korea, Best Korea!
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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