To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
