So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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