You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
