Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
