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I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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