I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
