Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
