Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
