Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
