so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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