I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
