I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
