dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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