Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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