Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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