well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
