I think i peed on brittanys purse
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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