1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
