I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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