What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
