I queefed so loud it echoed.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
