Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
