she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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