You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
