I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
