It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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