some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
