Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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