Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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