remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
tell your sister to shave her snatch
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
