Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
