Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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