I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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