I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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