I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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