When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
