shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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