bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
The ass gains better be worth it
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