I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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