I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
