what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
