i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Randomize
