You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
