I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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