How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
