Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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