This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
