no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
