and you said cock pushups were impossible
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
