If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
