Got a toothbrush?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
