THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
