After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
