counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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