...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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