No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
