Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
