You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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