I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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